Don't Make Me Angry
by turbomagnus
Summary: "War Stories" AU; what if Mal had been in the room with Simon and Book during the opening scene?


Author's Note: An alternate/expanded scene for the first scene of "War Stories", inspired by a connection my mind made while bored... Some dialogue has been borrowed directly from the episode while other lines are modified from actual episode dialogue.

Disclaimer: "Firefly" and "Serenity" are the creation and property of Joss Whedon and are used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

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"Don't Make Me Angry"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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"...and hold him over the volcano's edge, and on that day, you will finally meet the man."

"I always preferred Sinclair, myself," Mal interjected from the doorway, walking into the room, "'If you want to know somebody, make them angry, fight them, that's when you see who they really are'. Thought I'd check and see if Ariel was worth it besides our haul."

Book raised an eyebrow, "And what about you, Mal? Have you seen who you really are?"

"Well, Shepherd, I know me well enough to know that you don't want to make me angry... you wouldn't like me if I got angry."

"There's a verse in The Book that says 'He who angers you controls you', you might want to keep that under consideration, Captain."

"Is that really a verse in your book or are you just saying that?"

"Why don't you read it and find out for yourself?"

"No thanks, I'll wait for the abridged version to come out on video," Mal said sarcastically.

"If I thought you'd actually watch it, Captain, I'd even buy it for you," Book answered serenely.

"Don't need to watch it, Shepherd, I still remember how it ends," Mal remarked, "The devil gets cast back down and they build a new world and a new Promised Land to go with it; 'happily ever after', just like all fairy tales."

"If you two are through comparing sadistic crap legitimized by florid prose and religious texts that have been interpreted more ways than this ship's crew has broken the law," Simon spoke up with notable annoyance in his tone, "I'm trying to figure out if the government that did this to my sister is closer to psychotic dictators or devils."

Mal gave a derisive snort, "Don't be narrow-minded, Doc, you're talking like they can't be both. Governments have a habit of being ungoverned and thinking they can do whatever they want to whoever they want, dictators or devils, I can't tell any difference."

"I'm beginning to wonder if they put her through this just to see how much she could take," Book remarked, "To 'meet her' as Shan Yu would put it."

"I don't think so. The more I see, the more I think they had a very specific purpose. Look..." Simon brought up a readout from the analysis of River's brain he had made on Ariel.

Mal looked over the doctor's shoulder and frowned hard, "That's a pattern, even I can see that."

"Exactly," Simon nodded, "What the pattern means, however, is still the question."

"Whatever it is, they're not done," Mal gave a frustrated sigh, having another reason to hate the Alliance, "Otherwise they wouldn't be trying so hard to get her back."

"Which means that it's not likely to be just to hurt her," Simon glanced down and away from the readout for a moment, "If that's all it was, they could find someone else, some other family naive enough to believe them when they offer their sister or daughter a 'special' education..."

"But she's doing better," Book tried to console Simon, placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"I've tried a couple different medications. She's sleeping better, but nothing really stable," Simon answered, just as another person stuck their head in the door.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Doctor, Shepherd," Inara nodded a greeting to both of them, "Captain, could I speak with you for a moment?"

"Well, I don't guess there's no way I can avoid it," Mal answered, heading for the doorway to follow Inara as she walked away, pausing long enough to throw two words back over his shoulder at the doctor, "Keep trying."

"Surprisingly supportive," Simon commented as soon as he thought the Captain was out of earshot, "'Keep trying'. Well, we've certainly got enough drugs on hand."

"Yes, I'd forgotten that you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?"

"No, but I'm thinking of growing a big, black moustache," Simon answered, then added in a deadpan, "I'm a traditionalist."

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Author's Notes: For the curious, the sequence that inspired this short was the Shan Yu quote from the episode; Commander Jeffery Sinclair's quote about 'if you want to know someone, make them angry, fight them' from "Babylon 5"; and the infamous 'Don't make me angry. You won't like me if I get angry' from the classic Incredible Hulk TV series. Considering what happens by the end up the episode, I thought it was appropriate for Mal...


End file.
